Time to Head to the Slopes

I am dawdling this morning. I want to go skiing, but it is bitter cold and I'm a little fatigued. So I am lingering over hot chocolate and my journal. If I dawdle much more, I'm going to find myself back in bed.

It's cold inside and very cold outside. My hands are cold. All this cold makes me stiff. I'm grasping my warm mug between my hands. I bring it close to my face and inhale the steam. I could go into hibernation right now.

I want to make something clear before I go on. I am not a doctor or clinician. I am just a person who was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The only thing I am an expert on is how I feel day to day.

Today I am a little fatigued. It could be the cold. It could be the fibro. It could be ordinary fatigue. Who knows? I spoke about flares before, but what causes them? I'm tired now. I pushed myself hard the last few days with less sleep than I'd like. Does that mean that because I'm fatigued, I'm headed into a flare? If I get myself going and ski, will that make matters better or worse? I don't know. Sometimes when I push myself I feel great. Sometimes I pay for days.

The expected things are known to lead to flares. Too much stress, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, over doing it physically, weather changes, and hormonal changes. But do these things always lead to flares? For me, they lead to pain and fatigue, but a full-blown flare -- not always.

I try to control what I can, but that's not always possible. Could I have anticipated my clutch would burn out on my car? That I would have to dig my tires out of deep snow? That my neighbor and I would have to hook up his tractor, and while he towed the car down the hill backwards, I would have to manuever it? All this so that the towing company could pick it up by the road, since the truck couldn't negotiate my driveway.

Could I have predicted my father's heart attack at 3 am? That It would be the same weekend that I had an art exhibit, and the same weekend I had to turn the house over twice for renters?

Can I plan in advance for low barometric pressure that can lead to extreme fatigue and muscle pain?

I do the best that I can. I try to stay active. I try to get regular sleep. I play various types of relaxation CDs at bedtime. I do yoga and practice breathing techniques. I eat healthily overall, despite my penchant for sweets. But the reality is that no matter what I do, I have good days and bad days.

I always have some level of muscle pain and stiffness. I rarely sleep well, and I get flares from time to time no matter how hard I try to prevent them.

Well the sun is trying to shine. I am waking up. Time to head to the slopes. Brrrr....