A friend of mine just emailed me and mentioned I hadn't posted anything new lately. I am completely overwhelmed and spread too thin. I chose to do two farm markets this summer, but the time spent baking has taken me away from my art and writing. It's time to regroup and get back on track.
All the baking in addition to maintaining a vaction rental and caring for my parents has left me exhausted. I could sleep for a week. I have been working so hard, that it is understandable that I would be exhausted, but it makes me wonder. "Because of my fibromyalgia, is my fatigue the same as someone without chronic fatigue issues, or is it different?"
I wish there was a pain and fatigue meter you could use to compare yourself to others. When someone constantly complains about his aching back, is he just whining, or is he in real pain? Is he experiencing more pain than you can imagine. Is his pain tolerance lower than mine? How do you know? When someone is really tired all the time, is she just a wimp. Does she lack endurance, or is she experiencing a level of fatigue that you can't even imagine?
I often have these self-doubts. I wonder when I ache or feel really tired if I'm just being a baby? I often wish there was a meter that you could use to determine how your level of pain or fatigue compares to someone else. They use those pain scales at the hospital, but that only tells you on a scale of 1 to 10 how you compare to yourself. It doesn't tell you if your one or ten is equal to someone else's one or ten. Maybe your ten is really a fifteen compared to Joe's ten, maybe it's a five.
How do I know that I really have fibro and suffer abnormal pain and fatigue. Sometimes I really don't know. Sometimes I think I am a wimp. Without a meter, I may never know for sure.