Motivation

"By this you see that good success does not always depend on pains, but on the will." -- Peter the Great in a letter to his son referencing the Tsar's sickly brother's love for horses.

One of the questions I have been asking those I interview is, "How do you motivate yourself when the pain and fatigue is overwhelming?" Some turn to God, others to their families, some just allow it to happen -- riding out the wave, knowing it will eventually pass, and some reach deep down inside to some inner well-of-strength.

I could use an inner well-of-strength right now. I am tired, or burnt-out, or depressed. Maybe all three. It is so hard to say sometimes. Am I feeling burnt-out and low because of the fatigue, or am I fatigued because I am burnt-out and feeling low?

The weather this spring certainly hasn't helped. It has been mainly cold and wet. This type of weather is always hard on my fibro. My father's heath has been a roller coaster ride too. Dealing with the illnesses and the emotional turmoil that accompanies each bout is exhausting.

Two things that absolutely drive me, though, are the need to care for my pets, who are my children, and the need to care for my parents, however exhausting that may be. I am like a donkey being led by a carrot. I keep reaching for the carrot, but whenever I get near, it gets snatched away. I need to catch the carrot soon. I need something really good and exciting to happen and re-energize me. I need to reach down inside me and find a little more strength.