The Unexpected

I awoke to the phone ringing stridently in the living room. The ring was ominous, although I know a ring can't convey feeling. I stumbled blindly to the phone and looked at the display. It was my mom. I could feel the anxiety rising like bile from the pit of my stomach.

"It isn't an emergency," she said. I looked at the clock, it was 12:30 am.
"Of course it's an emergency I replied, "otherwise you wouldn't call at this time."
"You're father is still having diarrhea. He doesn't need to go to the hospital, but I need you to pick up something from the pharmacy for the diarrhea."
"It's been two days. He's going to be dehydrated. He'll need fluids."
"Just get the medicine, we'll see how he does through the night."

So at 12:30 am, after throwing sweats over my pajamas, tracking down all his health records, and adding anything else into the bag that might be handy while waiting in an emergency room, I headed out to Wegmans.

Unfortunately, this has become a routine over the past year. My dad has been in and out of the hospital so much, I basically have a bag waiting like an expectant mother.

I found the Imodium and headed to my parent's house. My mother insisted the diarrhea only recurred after dinner. It hadn't been continuous since its start on Monday morning. I wasn't sure I should believe her. My parents don't always tell me the truth. They know I'll go to the hospital if I think it is necessary.

I was tired though, and not looking forward to sitting endlessly in an emergency room. So I administered the medicine, explained to my mother what to do if my father needed more, made my father drink some water, and headed home. My expectation was I would get up in the morning, walk the dogs, and plan on spending the rest of the day at the hospital.

Then I "prevented." This is a term you will see when I post an except from Chris's interview. Chris prevents, and I did too. There is so much information on why you must reduce the stress in your life, and how to do it. Although there are stressors I believe you can control, no matter how much yoga and deep breathing I do, I can't prevent stress from external factors such as acts of God and other people. I have no control over these things.

And invariably, "when it rains, it pours." How often in your life has the car broken down, a family member taken ill, the hot water heater died, and the dog decided to poop on the neighbors lawn, in front of the neighbor? With all these things happening within 48 hours.

Taken individually, you could probably handle each of these events, but the Fates have a bizarre sense of humor, and usually like to lay it on you all at once. That's when you start popping the Xanax if you want to avoid a nervous breakdown--actually, I have never taken Xanax.

So no matter how much you try, stress happens. When you have fibromyalgia, stress has a bigger impact. It can trigger a flare. So as Chris says, "I prevent."

I didn't know what was going to happen in the morning, but I needed to be rested and ready for anything. I came home. I took half an Ambien, just enough to knock me out and make sure I didn't lie in bed all night with my heart fluttering rapidly like a captive bird.

Sleep is normally elusive for fibromites. With added stress, it can be completely non-existent. These are the times when a sleep-aid is invaluable.

The phone rang again at 7 am. I thought, "Oh no, we're off to the hospital."
But it was better news, "The diarrhea stopped after he took the first dose of the Immodium, he slept through the night. You don't have to rush over."

I'm not completely sure I believe her, but I will use the reprieve to take care of the necessities before I head over. Never fear, my emergency room kit is in the car.