An exerpt from Misha

Being used to running around and doing a million things, Misha has always felt that she had to be good at everything. The guilt can be overwhelming when she feels she’s not doing her best because of a flare. “Be a good wife. Be a good mom. So when I can’t, when I have a flare-up, it gets me really depressed because I feel like I should be able to do more. If I’m feeling really bad and my daughter has a day off from school, and she wants to actually spend time with me, and I can’t, then I feel really guilty. Those moments are few and far between because she’s a teenager.”

Because Misha’s mother, sister, and neighbor also have fibromyalgia, she has always had their support. They often share treatments they have found successful with one another. Her in-laws have also been very understanding, and when they were able, often helped with the children when Misha was unable to get out of bed or leave the house. Unfortunately her mother-in-law now suffers from Parkinson’s disease, and Misha prefers not to burden her with any additional stress. “I used to rely on my mother-in-law. She was a really good sounding board. She was always good to talk to, patient with me. She always had good ideas and was never judgmental.”

Her immediate family has been a little slower to come around. Two of the girls are less than understanding, but the other two seem to realize something is wrong. Her husband has also been slow to come around. “My husband used to joke and call me fibro mom. Sometimes I didn’t like to tell him because he’d say, ‘Really something else is wrong? You’re falling apart.’ We’d be joking around, but it hurts. I can’t help it. If I could I would.”

Unfortunately, his eyes opened to her suffering after he started experiencing issues with depression from an old back injury. Initially, they each dealt with their physical pains separately. “He got to the point where he couldn’t get out of bed, lacked motivation, and was very tired. Before that, he never understood depression or the fibromyalgia. He’s starting to get a bit more understanding. The difference, now, is that we have learned to help each other through our physical pain.  We’ve learned to recognize when one of us is hurting really badly. We pick up the slack for each other.”

Misha’s husband is her best friend. “We’ve been married almost 11 years and been together for over 15. He’s pretty good to talk to. He is the one that reminds me to slow down sometimes, to take care of myself.”